Her name is Fupa

Just a little status update on the pregnancy with Baby Gilbertson.  First of all, the actual pregnancy part is going very well.  I am feeling pretty good, measuring right on target and her heart rate is quite strong.  As of right now I am 35 weeks and counting.  There is a small problem, however.  I have no idea what we are going to name her.  Her big brother is CERTAIN that we are going to name her Fupa.  After the pink character on Yo Gabba Gabba, whose actual name is Foofa, but Ben can't pronounce it.  Even though this name has not made our short list, we all call her Fupa all the time.  Even the grandparents.  So here is my fear.  The day is going to come and we are not going to have a name for her, so she will end up being Fupa her whole life despite whatever we name her.  So, here are my name issues.  I would like to name her Lily, but I can't come up with a decent middle name to go with it.  I would like for her middle name to have some meaning.  Ben's middle name is Russell which is after Mike's dad.  My first name is after my dad, which I think is cool.  My sister was named for a song from one of my mom's all time favorite singers.  I think names that have some sort of meaning are cool.  I also think we need to pick a name from my side of the family since Ben was named after Mike's side. Perhaps you can see my conundrum. Too many requirements and nothing that really goes well with Lily.  Another name that I really like is Anna, but Mike and I just haven't been able to come to agreement on what name and what middle name.  For me I think my problem is that I never thought I would have a baby girl.  For Mike, I think it's that he is indecisive.  Those of you who have ever been out to eat with us will understand this.  He has a hard time committing to dinner, let alone what someone is going to be named for their entire life. So, if she comes out and all we can come up with is Fupa, please don't judge. 

Some recent Ben funnies

A couple things Ben has said lately that I didn't want to forget.....

"Mommy, why do you have stripes on your belly?" I thought about telling him I am part tiger, but went with a more standard "Ask your father."

He is not historically a morning person which I will take full credit for.  This morning however, was especially bad.  I went into his room and to wake him and as I gently rubbed his back and whispered soothing words my little angel said to me "Hey! Get out of my damn room! I am sleeping!" Seriously. You can't make this stuff up. 

Okay for this next one you need a little background.  The man that baptized my husband is Pastor Bob Lynne. He is an institution at our church.  He was one of the founding members and was a pastor there for I don't know how long.  He was also Bishop for a while and has an entire wing of the church named after him.  The long and short of this story, he is a BIG deal. Well, Pastor Lynne was lucky enough to be sitting next to Ben Gilbertson at the Demon basketball game the other night.  I explained to him that Pastor Lynne was the man who baptized Daddy when he was a baby and knew him when he was growing up at our church.  Ben looks him square in the face and says "You used to work at my daddy's church?" Luckily, it was really loud in there and Pastor Lynne didn't hear him. Of all people to ask! I said, "Oh, he just asked if you work at the church."  Nice, Ben. Really nice.

It's a ...

Girl! I still can’t believe it. I had a feeling since the last ultrasound that we probably had a girl on our hands, but I couldn’t be sure. Now that we know, I feel like I have to be honest. The thought of having a girl scares the crap out of me. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I don’t want a little girl. I picture her little pig tails (thick, wavy ones like mine, not small like my sister’s) and pink pajamas, and tutus and I can’t even begin to describe how emotional that makes me. But aside from all those fun things about girls, I am worried. In case you are thinking that I am crazy, let me remind you of a few things about girls. I am a girl. I know the psychological damage that we can inflict on to our parents and those around us in our teen years. It is not pretty. Second, do you know how much it costs to buy a prom dress vs. rent a tuxedo? Exactly.

Those things are trivial and I know with some good medication and a qualified therapist, Mike and I WILL make it through her teen years. The more serious reason that I get scared about having a girl probably comes from the gender based work that I do for a living. I am constantly bombarded with messages and reminders everyday of the inherent disadvantage that simply being born with two X chromosomes gives a person. I hear about women earning less money, women being torn between career and family, and all the things women are told they can’t do as well as men. And that doesn’t even begin to address the issues of violence against women that I work on every day.

What scares me the most is that so many people in the world fail to recognize that these inequities still do in fact exist in our society. Even my own son made a comment the other day that reminded me that even my children are not immune from societal messaging and social norms. I took him to a Bismarck Demon basketball game at the Civic Center to check out the local team. The girls’ team played the first game and throughout the whole thing, he kept asking me when the Demons would be coming out. Based on the messages he has received and what he knows in his little almost three year old world, boys are athletes and girls are not. Kinda sad when you think about it.

I know that things will work out and I don’t have to take on the weight of the world when this baby girl is born and that I am certainly not the first person in the world to have a baby girl. I know this. I also know that I have a lot to offer her as a woman and that she has plenty of strong women in her life to learn from. She will be surrounded by kind, strong and powerful women. She won’t know this until she’s older, but my mom overcame so much to provide a good life for her daughters and my sister amazes me with her strength every day. My mom and sister are two of the strongest women I know and if she is ANYTHING like either of them, I know she’ll be just fine. And those are just two of the women that will be part of her story. There are wonderful examples and role models for her to look for everywhere. This helps me know that things will be okay. And it is possible to raise a happy, healthy, successful girl even in today’s society.

It’s amazing that I can already be so worried about someone who has yet to even meet the world.

Let's get ready to rumble!

I feel like I have been obsessed with my kid lately, but his little personality has made for some good laughs in recent days. All my recent facebook posts and stories lately have been about him, but I can't help it.  He's good material. Here are some recent Ben funnies:
- We drove by Starbucks the other day and he says "Mama, we stop and get you a decaf latte?"  How does he know that? At least he knows what I like.
- He told a lady in Target that I have a baby in my tummy and we're naming it Muno (After Yo Gabba Gabba)
- When he asked me the other day where I keep my baby I said, "In my tummy.  That's where you used to live, too."  After he thought about it for a minute he said, "I don't want to go back in there" and looked down at my stomach and shivered.
- He has started singing "The Farmer in the Dell" and when he gets to the end he sings, "Leave the cheese alone, leave the cheese alone!"

And finally- He got a basketball hoop for Christmas from Grandma and Grandpa Gilbertson and he's in love! He plays with it all the time. He has even taken to listening to the songs that he hears at sporting events, so he asks to listen to "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" while he is shooting hoops.  Well, last night he was really getting into it and even invented a little victory dance for himself.  Usually while he's playing he insists that someone watch him and he tells them when it would be appropriate to cheer by interjecting comments such as: "Mama, say Go Benny!"  or "Daddy, say Go Demons!" And my favorite "Mama, say Go Points!"  He doesn't really get what points are and I love it!  When he was doing this last night I laughed until I cried.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!